Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize
