Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
dude. I can hear the air.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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