wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
You ruined the universe
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
