his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
