My brain says no but my pants say off.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Randomize