'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
me + whiskey = a bad person
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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