On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Randomize
