Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
