Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Randomize
