erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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