Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Randomize
