My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Randomize
