is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
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