but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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