I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
