they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
there is glitter all over my balls
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
