You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
