We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
