she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
i love accidental penises.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
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