just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Randomize
