i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Randomize
