wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize
