i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
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