so explain again why im purple
no
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Randomize
