so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
We talked him into tasing himself.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
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