I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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