Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
