she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
