i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
I intend to get homeless drunk
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
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