Texts From Last Night

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  (805): View more from California

  I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun

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  (805): I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun http://tfl.nu/vzxf
  Replies (1) Good night (941) Bad night (724)
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  (704): View more from North Carolina

  so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low

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  (704): so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low http://tfl.nu/2nm4
  Replies (4) Good night (769) Bad night (1550)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.

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  (314): So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present. http://tfl.nu/xf6g
  Replies (792) Good night (7726) Bad night (111029)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.

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  (703): i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice. http://tfl.nu/s321
  Replies (15) Good night (5384) Bad night (610)
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  (310): View more from California

  I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you

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  (310): I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you http://tfl.nu/5bao
  Replies (20) Good night (4937) Bad night (710)
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever

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  (678): She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever http://tfl.nu/ozbc
  Replies (18) Good night (4334) Bad night (954)
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  (469): View more from Texas

  I will probably be peed on at some point today.

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  (469): I will probably be peed on at some point today. http://tfl.nu/flw0
  Replies (6) Good night (873) Bad night (2395)
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  (970): View more from Colorado

  Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?

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  (970): Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer? http://tfl.nu/hh36
  Replies (3) Good night (2291) Bad night (520)
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.

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  (815): My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time. http://tfl.nu/dmh2
  Replies (9) Good night (2604) Bad night (518)
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night

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  (919): So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night http://tfl.nu/rd80
  Replies (6) Good night (748) Bad night (1636)
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.

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  (541): I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways. http://tfl.nu/pmkq
  Replies (3) Good night (723) Bad night (266)
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  (808): View more from Hawaii

  wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?

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  (808): wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke? http://tfl.nu/hs3o
  Replies (2) Good night (429) Bad night (496)
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  (530): View more from California

  I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "

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  (530): I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. " http://tfl.nu/24zo
  Replies (5) Good night (626) Bad night (236)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!

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  (617): I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin! http://tfl.nu/nomz
  Replies (3) Good night (666) Bad night (218)
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  (631): View more from New York

  A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.

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  (631): A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway. http://tfl.nu/tmel
  Replies (0) Good night (333) Bad night (269)

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