she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.