Texts From Last Night

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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.

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  (508): i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer. http://tfl.nu/bdc9
  Replies (37) Good night (2202) Bad night (825)
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper

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  (612): i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper http://tfl.nu/3dw5
  Replies (27) Good night (611) Bad night (3838)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.

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  (248): i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding. http://tfl.nu/2d2l
  Replies (35) Good night (1606) Bad night (6571)
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  can you pick me up an extra syllabus

  (317): View more from Indiana

  i passed out in the shower again

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  (317): can you pick me up an extra syllabus (317): i passed out in the shower again http://tfl.nu/i8ap
  Replies (26) Good night (4323) Bad night (1132)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am

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  (610): Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am http://tfl.nu/p6fg
  Replies (13) Good night (4635) Bad night (1047)
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  (904): View more from Florida

  he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up

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  (904): he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up http://tfl.nu/1mju
  Replies (19) Good night (8985) Bad night (1109)
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  (605): View more from South Dakota

  and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.

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  (605): and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month. http://tfl.nu/xuv1
  Replies (4) Good night (1002) Bad night (3046)
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  (714): View more from California

  I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.

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  (714): I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom. http://tfl.nu/8p10
  Replies (19) Good night (3830) Bad night (1554)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.

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  (617): pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle. http://tfl.nu/r2o0
  Replies (3) Good night (3141) Bad night (564)
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  (586): View more from Michigan

  Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??

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  (586): Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus?? http://tfl.nu/6jql
  Replies (5) Good night (1347) Bad night (513)
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN

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  (401): STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN http://tfl.nu/5dil
  Replies (3) Good night (1168) Bad night (303)
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  (585): View more from New York

  You get home okay?

  (1-585): View more from New York

  I'm pantless and in bed

  (585): View more from New York

  That doesn't mean you're at home.

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  (585): You get home okay? (1-585): I'm pantless and in bed (585): That doesn't mean you're at home. http://tfl.nu/bq7s
  Replies (2) Good night (1171) Bad night (269)
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  How drunk is she?

  (1-612): View more from Minnesota

  She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her

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  (612): How drunk is she? (1-612): She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her http://tfl.nu/dk7m
  Replies (1) Good night (599) Bad night (269)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight

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  (717): But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight http://tfl.nu/x4t9
  Replies (2) Good night (632) Bad night (198)
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  (347): View more from New York

  my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs

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  (347): my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs http://tfl.nu/7wjm
  Replies (2) Good night (511) Bad night (195)

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