he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
25 Of The Most Common Life Mistakes Young People Make
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
25 People Confess What They Really Think When They See An Obese Person
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask