i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Randomize
