Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children