she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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