when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize