I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
