I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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