i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
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