Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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