just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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