Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Randomize
