I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
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