In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Randomize
