i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
