Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Randomize
