I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
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