I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
