Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Randomize
