Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Boobs are out for the taking
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize
