You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
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