would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize