Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Go christen that room with your naked body.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
