we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize
