shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Randomize
