i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
foreskin is a definite game changer
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
