Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
