So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
If its not for food we ain't going out.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Randomize
