i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Randomize
