It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
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