I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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