did you get engaged???
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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