3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Randomize
