They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
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