I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
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