I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Randomize