I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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