Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
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