This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
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